I wanted to start this year by talking about insecurity. Of course, then I got insecure about writing about insecurity! Ugh! The conundrum of the artist!
It seems as though setting out to create something, is simultaneously met with a voice telling you a variety of thoughts: “People aren’t going to like what I am making” or “People are not going to understand or see me.” All of a sudden our mind is a room full of critics “liking” or “not liking” the things that we are going to create. It seems to me, there are no people actually standing in this room, only the constructs of our own psyche, our own insecurities.
In the 16 years that I have been working with artists, I've found this to be ABSOLUTELY TRUE: YOU are creative. WE are ALL creative. We are involved in the The Act of Creativity every second of every day, our brains are hardwired for it. From the moment we get up, we start making choices: to do the dishes or not, to walk the dogs or not, to greet and hug our loved ones or to build grumpy walls between us. All of these small actions are our creative engagement with the world. Creative action. When we engage with creative play authentically, the insecure voices melt away and we become engaged in the FUN of our creativity.
As I ponder and wrestle with these thoughts of artist insecurity, desperately wanting to fill the lonely spaces of my own heart, wanting to feel connected and seen by others, by you... I take a leap of faith to dive in and trust myself. My name is Ashley Schor. I am the owner of Bead It and I want to start writing to you. It’s going to take a fuck ton of courage and sometimes I’m sure I will struggle in creating a dialogue. My hope is that I can help shed some light on the process.
The process of opening yourself up to YOU.
The process of not being afraid and to start something new.
The process of being willing to fail, to lean into the fear, and to simply trust in the process.